When I started this website in 2021, my first post was called, Restart. Over the next couple of years I’d have Restart 2, 3, and 4. The latest was Restart 5 in 2023. That’s a lot of restarts.
Don’t worry, I doubt I’ll ever write a Restart 6. Why? Because in September of 2022, I wrote what has become one of my most read posts: Becoming. That post was a reflective piece on life and creativity. It was written during some of the most difficult days of my life. And it still rings true.
But there’s more to it. Becoming was a short essay reflecting on finding one’s own path, both creatively, and in life itself. In that post I was reflecting on where I might want to live out my remaining years. I had four interests: Missouri, Kansas, New Hampshire, and Maine. I wound up in Maine. I also had just added my Songs page to the website. And you might wonder why this matters?
The point of the post was that we are always evolving as human beings and creators. But there’s something more. That constant change is leading us to a special place. It’s leading to the authentic you.
Let me explain. When I started the process of sharing my life’s work of songwriting and moved to Maine, I was essentially becoming myself. That’s something that usually only happens after a lot of years of life experience. Rather than always trying to create a life you love, or create your next masterpiece, you simply become.
Leonard Cohen explains it well.
I found that things became a lot easier when I no longer expected to win. You abandon your masterpiece and sink into the real masterpiece. – Leonard Cohen
There’s a funny thing that happens as you become yourself after years of trying a little too hard to be something more than yourself. You stop caring about what other people think of you. You stop dreaming of money and fame. You just sink in and do what you do. And even if you never again create something that the public and the critics think is a masterpiece it no longer matters. You’ve found the masterpiece simply in being.
But life isn’t perfect. Since moving to Maine in 2022, I wound up moving again. This time to Tennessee for full-time work in my field of academia. I might have retired at 61 and stayed in Maine, but I didn’t feel quite ready to do that. And life circumstance lined up to allow me to move while keeping my home in Maine. I’ll likely go back to Maine within the next year or two.
But I am also open to other possibilities. That’s all part of the point of becoming. It’s not about the future. It’s not about where we live. It’s not about the art we make. It’s about now, the present moment, and finding yourself at ease wherever you are, and with whatever you’re doing.
It’s not easy. I still have my share of days where I am unhappy or unfulfilled. I still have times where I want to chase the elusive dream of success. But deep down I know there is more freedom in simply becoming who I am. – dse
- Learn more about creativity
- Get new Anderhill music first
- Get special discounts
- Sign up for the newsletter
