The other morning at the airport in Nashville there was a team of female college athletes getting on the plane to Baltimore with me. Most of the girls carried a favorite stuffed animal with them. One sitting near me had an Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.
I asked her, “Is that Eeyore?” She replied, “Yes, I’ve had it since kindergarten.” That reminded me of my own Eeyore. I told her, “My Grandmother made me a stuffed Eeyore when I was a kid.”
When I was about 6 or 7 years old, my Grandmother Erickson made all her younger grandkids a Pooh character stuffed animal. I got Eeyore.
I kept my Eeyore and he moved with me everywhere I moved until I was about 20 years old. That’s when something happened.
In the mid-1980s, I went a few months without a job. I had let a friend stay with me when he was out of work, so he returned the favor. I lived with him and his two roommates for a couple of months. Little did I know, one of his roommates was a bully.
One day I came into my room to find some of my personal items missing. When I asked about it, Mike-the-bully, told me to look out of my window. There was Eeyore, and a homemade pillow, out in the parking lot. They were both soaking wet from the rain. This was in the Seattle region.
Mike-the-bully provoked me and made fun of me for holding onto the items of my childhood. He claimed he was helping me to grow up. I am little ashamed of what I did next.
Nothing.
I just left Eeyore out there in the rain. I was too proud to go out and get him. I wish I would have. As for Mike-the-bully, he wound up committing murder about 10 years later.
I hope the girl on the plane holds onto her Eeyore forever. – dse
Spring Point, South Portland Maine – Photo by Dan Steven Erickson
I just posted a song I wrote in 2023 about Woody Guthrie on my YouTube Channel. It’s called “National Treasure.” I’ll post the video and lyrics below. These days, I think we need to all be more like Woody and stand up for America.
I am shocked and dismayed over what I’m seeing happen in America. We’ve seen two execution-style killings on the streets of an American city this month. This current administration has bombed boats, invaded the oceans, and attacked countries illegally, breaking international laws. It’s slowly starting to not look or feel like an America I’ve ever known.
This hits real close to home for me. Although I’m currently living in Tennessee, I have a home in Maine and I’ll be moving back in April. Currently ICE is in my State of Maine terrorizing the region.
Maine often has the lowest crime rate per capita in the entire United States. It’s also often considered the safest state to live out of all 50 states. Yet, this current administration is making it a battle zone. Trump is attacking blue states, weaponizing the government and all based on political division.
If you do a Google search on authoritarianism in America, it’s at the highest level it’s ever been in the 250-year history of our country. Democracy could crumble before our eyes if we don’t stand up against this evil regime. And from my view, it is evil.
And what really confuses the shit out of me is the tough guys who all said they would stand up against tyranny are the ones supporting it. Oh, and a great portion of so-called “Christians.”
What can I do? What can you do?
I feel so small right now, like my voice and actions won’t make a difference. But that’s not true. Just writing this piece may make a small difference. Posting on my YouTube Channel may make a difference. Posting on social media may make a difference. Because what we need is to speak up and unite.
However, I don’t think being a desktop warrior is going to be enough. There have been some large protests in America in the past year. I think those need to double or triple in size. We need to unite.
I’m considering going up to Maine for a week to protest and observe in my home state, to add to the numbers standing up against tyranny. Because this is tyranny we are witnessing. It’s a coup. Only “We the People” can stop this.
National Treasure: A Song for Woody Guthrie
Okemah Oklahoma in two thousand and two
I’d done my research and I was passing through
My mind drifts back to the Seeds of Man
Now you’d be ashamed about the books they’ve tried to ban
They called you a communist but you didn’t carry a card
Just stood up for the people who lived lean and hard
You traveled this nation with a message for the masses
You didn’t give two cents about elephants or asses
You’re a national treasure
A monument to the human heart
They built you a museum up in Tulsa
Your whole life is a work of art
Back then you might have called yourself a Christian
But if you were to return today you’d see something’s missing
We’ve all been blinded by media, politicians, and thugs
No Train Bound for Glory here just guns and drugs
Now little Bobby Zimmerman is right by your side
He’s good but never had the same kind of American pride
I mean This Land Is Your Land nothing comes near it
I’ve been working all my life trying to capture that same spirit
You’re a national treasure A monument to the human heart
They built you a museum up in Tulsa
Your whole life is a work of art
Huntingtons Chorea took your life too soon
But you set the stage and you started the tune
Now will this nation ever be peaceful, equal, and classless?
Woody, I wish I could say… but at least this machine still kills fascists
You’re a national treasure A monument to the human heart
They built you a museum up in Tulsa
Your whole life is a work of art
You’re a national treasure
A monument to the human heart
They built you a museum up in Tulsa
Your whole life is a work of art
Your whole life is a work of art
I’ve had my YouTube Channel for one year. I started it on January 18, 2025. I have mixed feelings about the channel. Sometimes, it feels so insignificant to be creating art and music in today’s America.
I’ve always struggled with feelings of vanity.
I blogged about minimalism for about five years. I quit when I got close to making money from my work. Why? Because it felt wrong to sell people something that anyone can do for free. Want to live simple? Here, buy my gadget. It seemed hypocritical. It felt vain.
That’s about as close as I’ve gotten to monetizing anything on the Internet. Sure, I’ve sold a few books and some music on Bandcamp, but that might add up to a couple thousand dollars in sales over 15 years. The truth is, ever since giving up the minimalist topic, I’ve struggled in general with both topic and audience.
I lost 95% of my audience when I gave up minimalism as a niche. Then I floundered for a few years on what to do next. I finally decided to simply focus on my own music, poetry, and songwriting. And as you might expect, being an unknown artist in your 60s in today’s world is not profitable. And even if it was, that feels like selling out.
YouTube is no different than anything else.
Starting a YouTube Channel has been interesting, even fun at times. I didn’t put a lot into the equipment or production, but purposefully kept things simple and raw. Unfortunately, that’s another strike against me. People want flashy and produced.
After a year, it’s plain to see, that just like starting a blog, a podcast, or any kind of potential online business, I’m highly unlikely to ever gain an audience or turn a profit on the Internet. I don’t know the stats, but my guess would be that less than 1% of the people who try to create some kind of online business ever make any money. So, like my other online endeavors, it feels vain to even try.
Of course, from the outset, I said my YouTube was simply a place to document and preserve a lifetime of songwriting and that I had no delusions of making it a profitable channel. That remains true. But if I’m being 100% honest, there was still a small part of me that thought the experiment might get more than 100 subscribers in a year.
Maybe there’s more important work.
I’m not going to quit, but I am dialing things back. It takes time and effort, even with raw and unedited video, to keep a YouTube channel going. But I also can’t help but look around at the state of this world, and more specifically America, and wonder if there’s something more important I could be doing.
People tell me that art is important, that songs and poetry can lead revolutions and save lives. Meh. I’m not seeing it. When 20 million people are struggling just to be heard and no one seems to have the attention span to listen, what’s the point? And to do this stuff just for myself can become both isolating and lonely.
When I look around at what’s happening in our country; when I see the hate, the poverty, and the hopelessness, I have to wonder if there is something else one could do to promote positive change.
Now I’m retired, the options have increased.
I stopped working full time on December 1, 2025. I’ll likely go back to work part time later this year when I move back to Maine. I need to subsidize my income to pay for health insurance for a couple more years. But I will have more freedom to do other things.
Part of me just wants to go travel and explore a few places I’ve long been interested in. But another part of me wants to do something more significant, maybe get involved with some kind of activism at the grassroots level.
I’ve threatened for years to walk away from the Internet when I’m retired. That’s probably unpractical. And even though very few seem to notice what I’m doing, what I do is still serving a purpose, if only some kind of self-therapy.
I know I must sound like a broken record. I tend to continually question my own place in this world as a creator. I constantly see the insignificance of our struggle as artists and human beings. We all simply die and will likely be forgotten in the end.
Still, I’ll keep plugging along. I won’t stop writing or give up on YouTube yet. But I will keep my eyes and mind open for new directions and ways to serve others. – dse
Neil Young once said it’s better to burn out than fade away. I’m not so sure. I’m not even sure he would agree now. Truth is, sometimes I just want to fade away.
What do I mean by that? Let me explain.
Most of us spend our lives trying to prove ourselves worthy of our status. We want to impress our peers. We try to find work that will keep us comfortable, maybe even make us rich. We look for a partner who will provide us with security and children. We buy cars and houses and all the other stuff that we believe will satisfy us.
We spend our lives trying to be seen and heard. That last sentence might especially be true for us art and business types. We want our art, music, or product to be seen. We want it to sell.
But the mass majority of artists and wanna-be entrepreneurs never succeed in their endeavors. It’s kind of sad really. I’ve met so many people my age and older who are still hoping they will “make it” in the music business. And although I don’t ever give up hope, I have pretty much stopped dreaming.
The Internet and social media magnify everything.
Before the Internet and social media, the only way to become noticed was to stand out among the crowd. One actually needed to connect with others in person. When I wanted people to hear new songs, I got together with other songwriting friends, or booked a gig at my local coffee shop or bar. Now, I can be famous in my own mind by starting a website and a YouTube channel.
But it all begins to feel so in vain. My primary goal hasn’t been to get noticed or to make money from my online endeavors for some time now.
I used to have that dream. Now, I simply use this site to express my thoughts and feelings about songwriting, music, and a variety of other things in life. I use YouTube to catalog years of songwriting work. I use Bandcamp to express myself through experimental and ambient music. And I enjoy those things. I do it primarily for myself.
I moved to Nashville for work, but…
In November of 2024 I got a job in the Nashville region. I took the job, primarily because I was not quite ready to retire from full-time work status. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t move with a small glint of hope that maybe I could find a home for my songs. Maybe, I’d be discovered.
It didn’t take me long to see that I didn’t even want to play that game.
I made a few calls. I sent a few emails. I even got a little bit excited when I heard back from someone at BMI and made a connection with a management company. Then a few months ago, I played a few open mics. I was not impressed. Why? Not because I don’t enjoy performing from time to time. I do.
But rather because I don’t like to sit in bars and drink and wait for hours on end while listening to others pump themselves up. I’d rather be home reading a book, or taking a walk on the beach.
Going back to Maine in the spring.
I don’t see much point in staying in Nashville. I own a small condo in Maine. Why pay two rents or have to deal with being a landlord.
But it’s not just that. There are way too many people in the Nashville region for my liking. I avoid going into the city like the plague. And even where I live, 30 minutes to the north, there is so much new building and increasing population that it makes me want to run… fast.
At least life will be more quiet in Maine. There are less people, there is less traffic, and there is much more natural beauty.
But my condo is in the southern part of the state. That’s the most populated part of Maine. I spend a lot of time considering living in an even more remote area. Sometimes, I look at homes way up north in Washington and Aroostook counties. I’m not sure I’ll ever actually move up there, but I will do some investigating.
And that’s what I mean by fading away.
To me fading away isn’t giving up. It’s not being lazy and quitting as a creative. It’s stepping away from the idea that I have to be seen and heard by anyone but myself and the few who might be interested in the things I create.
It’s about living a quiet and simple life and connecting with everything and everyone around me. Not fading away from, but fading away into. It’s less about trying and more about… Living. Doing. Loving. – dse
It’s New Year’s Day. 2026. Welcome. Whatever happens.
I’ve hesitated to make resolutions or predictions for several years now. I did set some very loose goals for this year, most of which I’ll reach just by just doing what I do. But if I don’t reach them all and I go off in a different direction, I don’t care. That’s life. And at the age of 62 I’m just taking things as they come.
Every year I see a few kinds of posts regarding the new year.
The optimist post: These are the people who are excited for the new year and focused on making it the best year ever, just like they did the last year, and the year before that. I love their passion, but the optimists often set themselves up for failure. By the end of the year they are complaining about how bad the year was but optimistic about the next one.
The pessimist post: These people look at the new year as if it’s the last one on Earth. They claim the last year was bad and it can only get worse.
The reluctant post: These are the people who are careful to not make any comments on the coming year and they tiptoe into the new year and hope for the best.
And then there are people like me. It’s really just another day. So, I simply say welcome. Here’s to a good 2026. – dse
I started a YouTube Channel in mid-January of this year. I don’t get a ton of views but I’ll post links to my most-watched videos here. The first three links are the most viewed. I’ll follow those with the top-ten most-played songs.
My goal was never to attempt to get views and create a popular channel, but rather simply to catalog songs and post some about songwriting and music.
I posted a total of 199 videos in 2025 and gained 93 subscribers. Again, getting subscribers was not the primary reason for starting the channel. Documenting my own songwriting journey was.
I officially retiredfrom full-time work on December 1. Shortly after I stopped working in early November, I almost doubled my output on the channel. I could keep that up. But I’m not going to. Why?
Although I was tempted to try to start building the channel instead of simply using it for my own space, I’ve decided against that idea for now. In April, I’ll be moving back to Maine. I’ll be busy moving and doing some work on my condo up there. I want to do some traveling. I might go back to work part time. So, I’m not ready to commit to something more than what I’m currently doing on my channel.
That Could Change
I’ve always considered the idea of doing something more with the channel and/or starting a second channel. But I only want to do that if I’ve decided to seriously commit to the project(s).
That would mean that I’d get new and improved equipment, and that I’d create a space specifically as a YouTube studio. I’d study the art of YouTube production and become more deliberate in creating higher-quality work. I’d aim for better video and better audio. I’d learn how to edit. I’d have more scripted videos.
I’m not yet convinced I want to do all that. I need to wait and see what direction life takes after my move back to Maine. Also, a part of me likes the simple lo-fi authenticity of my channel as it is.
So, until mid-2026, I’ve decided to pare back a little and only post a few times per week rather than daily as I did through most of November and December.
