I used to keep a handwritten journal. From around 1998 to about 2010, I would journal regularly. I have a box full of journals in storage. Then I started blogging. One thing that’s different about journaling than writing for a website is that with journaling you can just write.
When I write here, I tend to write things for public consumption. I might leave out intimate details. I skip the boring day-to-day mundane stuff. I write about my creative endeavors and processes in a way to inform readers.
When I wrote in a journal, I wrote about my daily activities, my work, my thoughts about family, love, God, and nature. I reflected upon life. I reported things for the record. Sometimes, I miss that. Writing to just write. No expectations of perfect grammar or impressive vocabulary. I didn’t care if the writing was good or if it sucked. I just wrote. Everyday.
Perhaps, it’s that history of keeping a journal that keeps coming back into my writing here. I often tell readers that in the future I’ll be writing more about creativity and less about my life. I mean, who wants to read someone else’s journal? Heck, I rarely go back and read my own. They did, however, come in handy once in a court of law.
There’s something about just writing just to write that I love. When the writing doesn’t need to be about anything, but is rather just a record of your life and thoughts, there’s a freedom about it.
For instance, a couple of days ago I was turned down for a job as an academic advisor at Pittsburg State University in Kansas. I was also passed over at Crowder College in Neosho, Missouri recently.
Do I care? A little. My first daughter Angel Hope is buried in that region of the country and I’ve always considered retiring there. But that might be exactly why I didn’t get the jobs. My cover letter and my interviews were partially focused on that idea of returning to the region to be near Angel Hope in retirement. Lesson learned.
I still have a few applications out there. We’ll see what happens. I’d think I’d like to work a few more years in a full-time capacity in higher education. Still, there’s another part of me that would rather just start phasing out of full-time work now. I’m rolling the dice.
Anyway, I’m babbling. But that was the point of this post. Writing to just write. – dse
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