You might know that I have operated several websites or “blogs” over the past ten years. After about a decade of “blogging,” I started to come to the realization that I was not a blogger. Shortly before I decided to give up blogging and create this site, I wrote a piece in which I reintroduced myself.
Although I’ve not posted any of my old articles word for word here, I am going to do so with this article originally titled “Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself… Again,” published in June, 2021 just a few weeks before I decided to give up blogging.
The article is longer than anything I’ve included here, and I have taken out links and sub heads and some profanity, but I think it may help you to understand me a bit better.
So, please allow me to introduce myself…
You might know that line, “Please allow me to introduce myself,” as the opening line to the Rolling Stones song, Sympathy for the Devil. Don’t worry, I’m not becoming a devil worshipper, but I can’t help but feel more sympathy for the devil, (even if he is fictional), as I get older. Think about it. He got a crappy deal.
One reason I’ve struggled with financial success as a blogger is because I love variety. I can’t just write about the same damn thing over and over. In fact, I have many faces. Please allow me to introduce myself:
- The musician: I’ve written music since I was boy. Deep down, writing and studying music is my biggest passion. You can hear and buy my electronic works as Anderhill at BandCamp.
- The poet: I’ve also been a lyricist since I was a boy. I’ve written over 1000 songs with lyrics. The past 8-10 years I’ve turned to writing poetry as well. You can read selected poems at Cowboy Zen. (My poetry is now at this site.)
- The writer: Although I’ve been a writer since I was a boy, I didn’t turn to writing books until 2012. I’ve since written a handful of books, but am currently focusing more on music.
- The minimalist: I actually prefer the term simple living in regard to lifestyle. But in regard to art, musical composition, design, photography, etc., minimalism is the correct term. To read my archives on simple living go to Hip Diggs. (I will be letting Hip Diggs go later this year.)
Please allow me to introduce myself…
…again.
Yes, I’m being born again.
I’m not talking about being a born again Christian. In fact, it might just seem like something opposite. But it’s really not. I’m talking about reevaluating everything I’ve been taught about religion, about God, the Devil, and what it means to follow Christ.
For most of my life I’ve lived in fear of the negative consequences that I learned I would suffer if I did not live the life of the “good” Christian. But over the last 8-10 years I’ve been going through a metamorphosis of sorts. And at the risk of being damned by the Christian community, I’m coming out.
I don’t believe God damns anyone to hell! In fact, I don’t believe that the hell that we’ve been taught about for centuries even exists. I think religion has filled our minds with fear, guilt, and shame. But that’s okay. Because we can choose to walk away from all of that.
I’m not claiming to have all of the answers. I’m far from perfect. And although I’ve given up my belief in hell, and perhaps heaven, (at least the pie-in-the-sky version), I’m still on a journey to seek answers and live the best life I can. I still believe in all possibilities of God, and I still believe in the example of the living Christ. My dad used to call it, “the Christ in me.”
If you’re not Growing, you’re not living
You don’t have to agree with me. You can judge me if you want to. I don’t care. But my journey is about growth. I won’t stay stuck in an old version of myself, one in which I live in fear of hell and damnation. I’m going to live each day the best I can. I’m going to strive for the mark. I’ll do this with my music, my art, my life.
Honestly, my life has been pretty messed up at times. I was the child victim of a cult. Through my late teens and 20s, I struggled with poverty and substance use. I married a woman who I later discovered had extreme OCD and mental health issues. I’m currently dealing with a defiant and troubled teenager as a single parent.
But I’m not going to blame the devil or beg God to fix anything. I’m going to take responsibility for my own problems, for my life. And if I need help, I’ll seek help from community, not dogma.
Perhaps, you might say… I’ve been born again.
So please allow me to introduce myself. – dse
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