Embracing Uncertainty

My mother’s grave in Lyman Maine.

I’ve been embracing uncertainty for the last few years. There’s a sort of freedom that comes with doing that. But it’s also something that most of us hesitate to do. It can be scary and anxiety producing. But really, when you think about it, what other choice do you have?

First, let’s talk about life. You and I have no guarantees. We can do our best to live our best life and still get hit by a drunk driving a truck or get diagnosed with a terminal disease. We take getting out of bed each morning for granted. Some people can’t get out of bed. Others won’t live another day.

I think as humans we tend to get used to routine and we become complacent. We create expectations that everything will just keep moving like a well-oiled machine. It won’t. At some point, something will muck things up. How you react when things get mucked up is what’s more important.

Live every moment like it’s your last.

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always do this. It’s obvious. If I did, I would have less struggle with frustration and anger. I wouldn’t get worked up over little things like I sometimes do. Maybe some of you can relate.

But when I do things like write, teach, play music, walk, photography, and exercise, I am often in the moment. Creative and passionate endeavors have a way of putting us in the zone. It’s a form of meditation.

But it’s harder to have that same kind of focus in more medial work, at least it is for me. I suppose I can get lost in the rhythm of pushing a broom, sanding a table, or driving a truck. However, when a job requires a variety of both difficult physical and mental tasks with little reward other than money, it doesn’t feel right to me.

My current situation is filled with uncertainty.

Since I moved to Maine in 2022, I’ve managed to create a lot of options for myself. That’s a good thing, but there are also negatives. Having a lot of options comes with an even greater weight of uncertainty.

Today, I’m not working for the USPS. I’m certain of that. Tomorrow, I’m scheduled to be back in at 7:00am. I’m certain of that. Will I be there? Probably. But I’m not certain. Because today, I also have a job interview for a position in academia, my preferred line of work. What if I’m offered a job on the spot? That’s not how it usually works. But it’s happened before. So, it’s uncertain.

Today, I work a short shift at Cabela’s. I’m certain of that. But I also know that my daughter might need some help that could make me need to call out, or get there a little late. That’s uncertain.

I start my part-time quarter of teaching online next week. That’s scheduled. It’s another certainty. And although, it will likely come to pass, can I know for sure that I’ll be able to do my job next Monday? Nope.

One thing I know for sure.

This, I do know. Life is too short to worry about these things too much. Life is also too short to sell out for money. Yes, we all need an income to survive. Hard work can be commendable. But if that same work leads to injuries and anxiety, is it worth it?

If your work becomes your life, is that really living? Unless you’re doing something you love, or perhaps something you feel makes a significant difference in the lives of others, I’m prone to say “no.”

At this point in my life, I could give up working if I wanted to. I’m not quite ready to do that. Why? I’ll admit, it’s partially out of fear and uncertainty. What if I don’t have enough money in retirement? What if I get sick and I can’t afford good health insurance? What if? What if?

But it’s also because I want to spend my time making a difference. I want to teach, help others succeed. I want to share stories and make others think. I want to play music and see people dance. But I don’t want to be enslaved to a job solely for money. Life’s too short for that.

And so, tomorrow, everything might change, and that’s okay. – dse

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Author: Dan Steven Erickson

Dan Steven Erickson is a great undiscovered American songwriter.