I’m not going to go into any detail but my life has been a bit trying lately. Between some personal issues and some complications my daughter is facing, the last few weeks have been stressful and chaotic. I guess it’s a good thing I retired because it’s nearly a full-time job.
Hopefully, this chaotic season will pass. Our move to Maine is currently uncertain after months of planning. It might be delayed. So, how do I deal with all the stress? I write. I write about things that are happening in real time. Later, I will choose a portion of those lyrics to edit, fine tune, and put to music.
In the past month, I have written 40-50 new potential lyrics. I’ve also written several personal and professional letters. (That’s a different story.) I want to focus on the lyrics for this short essay.
Writing songs is great catharsis. It can help you to vent immediate anger, despair, and sorrow. It can also help you to understand there is always hope, joy, and possibility. I’ve come to realize that even when the shit is heavy, writing releases some of the weight and provides me with a map moving forward.
I’m not going to post lyrics here but I’ll include a list of recent titles.
A Word is a Word
Spun Up
I Just Want a Little Peace
Seeking the Teeth that Bit
Who Slighted Whom
Blow the Whistle
Stuck in Tennessee
Three-Day Drunk
Waking the Tiger
Many of the lyrics I’ve written in the last month are done in a free-flowing, almost rap-like form. But there are some pure country lyrics and thoughtful folk/pop pieces in the mix.
I don’t know if or when some of these will be put to music. I currently have 235 lyrics in my 2025/26 folder. Some have been put to music, but the majority are waiting. I do know that there will be a day when musical ideas and arrangements will flow as quickly as the lyrics came these last few weeks. That’s how I work.
So, no promises, but stay tuned for something new. – dse
The other morning at the airport in Nashville there was a team of female college athletes getting on the plane to Baltimore with me. Most of the girls carried a favorite stuffed animal with them. One sitting near me had an Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.
I asked her, “Is that Eeyore?” She replied, “Yes, I’ve had it since kindergarten.” That reminded me of my own Eeyore. I told her, “My Grandmother made me a stuffed Eeyore when I was a kid.”
When I was about 6 or 7 years old, my Grandmother Erickson made all her younger grandkids a Pooh character stuffed animal. I got Eeyore.
I kept my Eeyore and he moved with me everywhere I moved until I was about 20 years old. That’s when something happened.
In the mid-1980s, I went a few months without a job. I had let a friend stay with me when he was out of work, so he returned the favor. I lived with him and his two roommates for a couple of months. Little did I know, one of his roommates was a bully.
One day I came into my room to find some of my personal items missing. When I asked about it, Mike-the-bully, told me to look out of my window. There was Eeyore, and a homemade pillow, out in the parking lot. They were both soaking wet from the rain. This was in the Seattle region.
Mike-the-bully provoked me and made fun of me for holding onto the items of my childhood. He claimed he was helping me to grow up. I am little ashamed of what I did next.
Nothing.
I just left Eeyore out there in the rain. I was too proud to go out and get him. I wish I would have. As for Mike-the-bully, he wound up committing murder about 10 years later.
I hope the girl on the plane holds onto her Eeyore forever. – dse
Spring Point, South Portland Maine – Photo by Dan Steven Erickson
I just posted a song I wrote in 2023 about Woody Guthrie on my YouTube Channel. It’s called “National Treasure.” I’ll post the video and lyrics below. These days, I think we need to all be more like Woody and stand up for America.
I am shocked and dismayed over what I’m seeing happen in America. We’ve seen two execution-style killings on the streets of an American city this month. This current administration has bombed boats, invaded the oceans, and attacked countries illegally, breaking international laws. It’s slowly starting to not look or feel like an America I’ve ever known.
This hits real close to home for me. Although I’m currently living in Tennessee, I have a home in Maine and I’ll be moving back in April. Currently ICE is in my State of Maine terrorizing the region.
Maine often has the lowest crime rate per capita in the entire United States. It’s also often considered the safest state to live out of all 50 states. Yet, this current administration is making it a battle zone. Trump is attacking blue states, weaponizing the government and all based on political division.
If you do a Google search on authoritarianism in America, it’s at the highest level it’s ever been in the 250-year history of our country. Democracy could crumble before our eyes if we don’t stand up against this evil regime. And from my view, it is evil.
And what really confuses the shit out of me is the tough guys who all said they would stand up against tyranny are the ones supporting it. Oh, and a great portion of so-called “Christians.”
What can I do? What can you do?
I feel so small right now, like my voice and actions won’t make a difference. But that’s not true. Just writing this piece may make a small difference. Posting on my YouTube Channel may make a difference. Posting on social media may make a difference. Because what we need is to speak up and unite.
However, I don’t think being a desktop warrior is going to be enough. There have been some large protests in America in the past year. I think those need to double or triple in size. We need to unite.
I’m considering going up to Maine for a week to protest and observe in my home state, to add to the numbers standing up against tyranny. Because this is tyranny we are witnessing. It’s a coup. Only “We the People” can stop this.
National Treasure: A Song for Woody Guthrie
Okemah Oklahoma in two thousand and two
I’d done my research and I was passing through
My mind drifts back to the Seeds of Man
Now you’d be ashamed about the books they’ve tried to ban
They called you a communist but you didn’t carry a card
Just stood up for the people who lived lean and hard
You traveled this nation with a message for the masses
You didn’t give two cents about elephants or asses
You’re a national treasure
A monument to the human heart
They built you a museum up in Tulsa
Your whole life is a work of art
Back then you might have called yourself a Christian
But if you were to return today you’d see something’s missing
We’ve all been blinded by media, politicians, and thugs
No Train Bound for Glory here just guns and drugs
Now little Bobby Zimmerman is right by your side
He’s good but never had the same kind of American pride
I mean This Land Is Your Land nothing comes near it
I’ve been working all my life trying to capture that same spirit
You’re a national treasure A monument to the human heart
They built you a museum up in Tulsa
Your whole life is a work of art
Huntingtons Chorea took your life too soon
But you set the stage and you started the tune
Now will this nation ever be peaceful, equal, and classless?
Woody, I wish I could say… but at least this machine still kills fascists
You’re a national treasure A monument to the human heart
They built you a museum up in Tulsa
Your whole life is a work of art
You’re a national treasure
A monument to the human heart
They built you a museum up in Tulsa
Your whole life is a work of art
Your whole life is a work of art
Neil Young once said it’s better to burn out than fade away. I’m not so sure. I’m not even sure he would agree now. Truth is, sometimes I just want to fade away.
What do I mean by that? Let me explain.
Most of us spend our lives trying to prove ourselves worthy of our status. We want to impress our peers. We try to find work that will keep us comfortable, maybe even make us rich. We look for a partner who will provide us with security and children. We buy cars and houses and all the other stuff that we believe will satisfy us.
We spend our lives trying to be seen and heard. That last sentence might especially be true for us art and business types. We want our art, music, or product to be seen. We want it to sell.
But the mass majority of artists and wanna-be entrepreneurs never succeed in their endeavors. It’s kind of sad really. I’ve met so many people my age and older who are still hoping they will “make it” in the music business. And although I don’t ever give up hope, I have pretty much stopped dreaming.
The Internet and social media magnify everything.
Before the Internet and social media, the only way to become noticed was to stand out among the crowd. One actually needed to connect with others in person. When I wanted people to hear new songs, I got together with other songwriting friends, or booked a gig at my local coffee shop or bar. Now, I can be famous in my own mind by starting a website and a YouTube channel.
But it all begins to feel so in vain. My primary goal hasn’t been to get noticed or to make money from my online endeavors for some time now.
I used to have that dream. Now, I simply use this site to express my thoughts and feelings about songwriting, music, and a variety of other things in life. I use YouTube to catalog years of songwriting work. I use Bandcamp to express myself through experimental and ambient music. And I enjoy those things. I do it primarily for myself.
I moved to Nashville for work, but…
In November of 2024 I got a job in the Nashville region. I took the job, primarily because I was not quite ready to retire from full-time work status. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t move with a small glint of hope that maybe I could find a home for my songs. Maybe, I’d be discovered.
It didn’t take me long to see that I didn’t even want to play that game.
I made a few calls. I sent a few emails. I even got a little bit excited when I heard back from someone at BMI and made a connection with a management company. Then a few months ago, I played a few open mics. I was not impressed. Why? Not because I don’t enjoy performing from time to time. I do.
But rather because I don’t like to sit in bars and drink and wait for hours on end while listening to others pump themselves up. I’d rather be home reading a book, or taking a walk on the beach.
Going back to Maine in the spring.
I don’t see much point in staying in Nashville. I own a small condo in Maine. Why pay two rents or have to deal with being a landlord.
But it’s not just that. There are way too many people in the Nashville region for my liking. I avoid going into the city like the plague. And even where I live, 30 minutes to the north, there is so much new building and increasing population that it makes me want to run… fast.
At least life will be more quiet in Maine. There are less people, there is less traffic, and there is much more natural beauty.
But my condo is in the southern part of the state. That’s the most populated part of Maine. I spend a lot of time considering living in an even more remote area. Sometimes, I look at homes way up north in Washington and Aroostook counties. I’m not sure I’ll ever actually move up there, but I will do some investigating.
And that’s what I mean by fading away.
To me fading away isn’t giving up. It’s not being lazy and quitting as a creative. It’s stepping away from the idea that I have to be seen and heard by anyone but myself and the few who might be interested in the things I create.
It’s about living a quiet and simple life and connecting with everything and everyone around me. Not fading away from, but fading away into. It’s less about trying and more about… Living. Doing. Loving. – dse
I already set my goals for 2026a couple of months back. They are very simple and general. In fact, I’ve already met a few of them and it’s not even 2026 yet. Here’s a review:
10 things I hope to do before the end of next year.
Give my website a simple remodel.
Continue writing and recording songs and music.
Write poetry and consider short story.
Keep walking regularly and participate in other physical activities.
Monitor my health and see experts on my blood condition.
Read on a fairly regular basis.
Consider a second piece of real estate in Kansas or Missouri.
Retire from my current job and move back to Maine.
Create a YouTube Studio in a different location and focus on a few strategies to promote the channel.
Travel and work on becoming a better photographer.
So, #1 is done. #8 is part done. I’ll be taking a photography class starting in January, #10. Many of the other goals are things I simply do on an ongoing basis. See what I did there. I made it nearly impossible not to meet my goals.
There are a few things I want to reevaluate.
Let’s review #2, #7, #9, and add one big thing that I forgot to include.
#2. Continue writing and recording songs and music: Of course, I’m going to continue to do music. The question is at what level? Since I retired, I’ve sped up my output, both in writing and posting to my YouTube channel. I’ve even done some new Anderhill music. I’m not sure I’m going to continue to increase musical output going into 2026. Something is telling me to slow down a bit on the musical output and to focus on quality over quantity.
#7. Consider a second piece of real estate in Kansas or Missouri: This is simply a thought, an option. I often consider real estate in that region for the low cost, and to be close to my first daughter who was stillborn and buried in Joplin, Missouri. But I think in 2026 it will be more important to focus on my property in Maine.
#9. Create a YouTube Studio in a different location and focus on a few strategies to promote the channel: As with #2, I’m not going to stop. However, I’m also not going to put the YouTube channel at a high level of importance. In fact, I’ll be making an announcement on the channel before the end of the year that I will be slowing down output. And chances are fair that I’ll keep the channel simmering on the back burner until after I’ve resettled in Maine. Only then will I decide about the new studio space and the direction of content and promotion.
One important thing I left off the initial list.
I have a small condo in Maine. It’s livable but is also in need of some updates. So, upon my return, I need to start on the process of getting some things done. Here’s a list of things I’d like to consider completing over the next couple of years:
Get electrical and plumbing inspected and repaired.
Get the windows and exterior doors replaced.
Do a partial kitchen remodel and get new appliances.
Get a new shower/tub.
Repaint the entire interior.
Possibly install new flooring downstairs and resurface the stairs.
Replace heating units with new and more efficient models.
Turn the basement area into a YouTube studio instead of a storage area.
Minimize furnishings and decor.
And a few of other things…
Other things I left off my original list because they are not certainties:
Consider getting another dog.
Working part-time either at Cabelas and/or adjunct teaching.
Traveling to Canada, Scotland, and/or Iceland.
So, there you have it. A slightly more specific list of goals for 2026. Again, I do not like to set goals the way I used to. I used to aim too high and set unrealistic goals. I might have met 40% of them. Life is uncertain and keeping your goals loose is a much better option, especially things that are outside of your ability to control.
Don’t set goals you can’t control.
For instance, a few weeks ago, I noticed that my YouTube channel had about 83 subscribers and 180 posts. So, I posted a goal on Facebook. I said by the end of the year I’d have 200 posts and 100 subscribers.
At the rate I’ve been making videos, the 200 posts by the end of the year was very reachable. Still is. But I can’t control how many people subscribe to the channel. It’s gone from 83 to 92 but I don’t expect to reach 100 by December 31. I was setting myself up for failure by making my goals dependent on the actions of others.
This, in part, led me to reevaluate the importance of my YouTube channel. I’ve blogged and I have been caught up in the endless cycle of trying to grow an online presence in the past. I’m not going to let that cycle repeat when I retire. I cannot control the actions of others. I cannot force people to come to my channel. This is not The Field of Dreams.
I started the YouTube channel as a place to catalog songs and discuss things related to songwriting and music, and occasionally, life. I started the channel with no illusions of becoming popular or monetizing. And for now, that’s just how it will remain. And I think I’ll end the year with 199 posts just because I can. – dse
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of ever “making it” as a songwriter, musician, or writer. What does that even mean? To make it? Then I realized that I already gave up the dream. 100%.
I’ve recently retired and that matters here.
First, I am officially retired from full-time academic work as of December 1, 2025. I’ll have more time on my hands. Time that might allow me to work harder in pursuing my artistic endeavors. And I will.
I’m going to keep my YouTube Channel going. I’m going to keep writing songs. I’ll keep composing ambient music and writing poetry. Maybe, I’ll even write another book. But never again for the reason of trying to “make it.” And only out of the love for the process, and the art.
I work to create a healthy balance in life. I’ll likely continue to do some part-time work. I’m going to do some upgrades to my condo. I’ll travel some. I’ll work more on photography. I might even learn more about how to create a successful YouTube Channel instead of just posting random videos of me singing songs. Who knows? But I’ll decide.
I won’t do any of that in hopes of achieving financial or social success in the industry. Here’s why.
My work is 100% driven by artistic value, not money.
In the past few years I’ve noticed something. I understand that people who have been successful in the music or entertainment industry have worked hard to get there. I also understand that they are busy people. Even those who have not made it, but focus on that commercially-based track to success seem to have similar attitudes toward artists as myself.
They are dismissive.
That’s right. I’ve discovered an underlying unfriendliness among many people I’ve met who have been successful in the music business, or are trying their hardest to make it. I’m not sure exactly why, but I’m going to take a stab at what I think might be going on.
It’s a game of egos, and some people are threatened by purity.
I know some people may disagree, but from clear back in my early blogging days, I noted something. Most bloggers who had already had some success seemed to snub their noses at those who were trying to reach similar levels. Unless you were kissing up to them.
Why? Because their success depended on those who had not “made it.” That’s right. They want you to buy into what they are selling you, their courses, their programs, their coaching. They want you to believe that they are somehow better than you. Even if your raw talent is superior to theirs, they could never admit that. The ego will not allow for it.
I’ve found the same thing within the songwriting and music world. You’re a fan, not a contemporary. I’ve even had the sense that some of the successful artists I have met and worked with in the past few years are intimidated by those of us who have spent our lives mastering the art of something without “selling out.”
When you really think about it, if one has spent 50 years mastering a specific art while the other has had to worry about business, performances, recording, touring, and keeping their base happy, which one has truly had the unadulterated time and space to be more faithful to the art?
Alternative roads are shunned.
I also see that those of us who refuse to take the expected route in the music industry are ignored. The expected route is to spend lots of money to create a product to sell.
In Nashville, you are expected to make a high-quality produced demo. But it wasn’t always that way. Country music publishers used to request nothing more than instrument/vocal demos. Now there is a whole studio industry catering to wannabe songwriters to spend $500 per song.
You’re also expected to play the open mic and songwriting round circuit, and to co-write in an effort to prove yourself to the industry community. The venues where these events happen are selling you hope and dreams and food and beer.
In other words, the songwriters have become the product. The majority of the tens of thousands of songwriters in Nashville will spend thousands of dollars to never make it. I played that game as a younger man. I see through it now.
I think about Woody Guthrie.
Woody Guthrie refused to sell out. Sure, he made a meager living as a songwriter, but he never wrote anything he did not believe in as a means of pursuing commercial success.
Woody stood up for the things he believed in. He simply created whatever he chose. He was never impacted by the lure of success. In fact, he walked off the set when he was expected to play the role of a hayseed and sing commercial songs for a TV show.
Yet, in the end, Guthrie, never really a success in his own right, became a legend, and one of the biggest musical influences for future generations of songwriters.
I’m done dreaming, but I’ll keep on doing.
So that’s it. I’m done dreaming. 100%. But I’ll keep on doing. Or not. I won’t give into pressure to conform. I’m too old for that shit. I’ll write and post what I want when I want. And if I decide to stop doing altogether, that’s my prerogative.
For years I thought I was missing out because I never found much success in my creative endeavors. Now I understand something much more important. I’m free. – dse
