Author: Dan Steven Erickson

21,253 Days >

Today, I’ve been alive for 21,253 days. That’s a lot of days. I’ve also lived more days than I have left to go, unless I live to be 116 years old. That’s highly unlikely, especially due to the fact that I have a slow-progressing chronic blood cancer, polycythemia vera.

Some days, I wish I’d have accomplished more in my life by this point. Other days, I look back and it seems like I’ve experienced a crapload of stuff in 58 years. But in either case, it’s not the past that’s important. Technically, neither is the future. NOW is what we have to live for.

Still, considering what one would like to do in the days to come isn’t a bad thing. So I will. Three things come to the forefront: writing, music, and travel. If I have any kind of formal success beyond that, I’ll call it a bonus.

I used to want more: fame, poularity, and financial freedom. Honestly, now I think I’d be happier and more creative without those elements. Well, financial freedom would be okay.

It must be much harder to become great at whatever artistic endeavor you do if you’re constantly told how it must be done in order to make a profit. No thanks. I’ll just be thankful for the 21,253 days I’ve had to live, and happy for whatever’s still to come. – dse

The Mask

Masks are a pain in the butt. There. I said it. I hate it when I walk the dog in the morning only to forget my mask. How am I supposed to get my coffee? Wearing a mask is a constant inconvenience and frustration to me.

That said, I’m 100% in favor of wearing the mask to help prevent the spread of coronavirus. I can’t understand why some people are so opposed, it’s not a big deal to me. Masks have been used throughout history for a variety of reasons. But they can be especially interesting if you’re a creator.

Think about the mask as an artist. I love the idea of creating a persona, of becoming an actor. Think about Tom Waits. Do you think he’s really an old drunk who still lives in dive hotels? Of course not. He created that persona years ago. He’s moved on from that person, but he knows people still see him like that. Think of it as his mask.

I’ll gladly wear the mask, both literally and figuratively. Even if the literal mask is a pain in the butt at times. To help stop spread of a deadly virus, I’m in.

I’m even more in when we look at the mask as being a mysterious piece of a performer’s costume. – dse

The End Justifies the Means

I don’t promote outright illegal or corrupt actions to reach a desired result. However, as a writer and musician, I have learned that sometimes the means to reach an end result may not be pretty, or in some people’s minds, morally right.

I recently wrote some poetry about my misspent youth. It was filled with details of drinking, drug use, and lurid sexual affairs. I didn’t set out in my 20s to do stupid stuff so I could get some good stories in my 40s and 50s, but that has become the end result. And although I used to regret some of the foolish things I did as a younger man, after writing about those times, I no longer have that regret. That in itself is a good end. The writing led to closure.

Let’s not stop there. Experience is the writer’s friend. I may have lots of stories to tell because I lived a bit of a wild and unruly life when I was young, but those stories will get old, used up. So would I do it again? Ten, five, maybe even two years ago, the answer would have been an emphatic NO. Now, I’m not so sure. Maybe, Bukowski was onto something.

I’ve continued to have plenty of life experiences to write about: marriage, divorce, living with someone with a mental health disorder, raising a kid as a single parent, and traveling.

But as I get older, as long as I’m not committing felonies or hurting other people, perhaps the end does justify the means. For a good story, I might consider moving to Memphis or New Orleans, frequenting the bars, smoking marijuana, and checking out some strip clubs. Or maybe, I’ll drive 140mph on a deserted road at night, parachute from an airplane, or sleep in a homeless camp just to see how it feels.

For the sake of the story, and just to spice up life a little, perhaps, the end does justify the means. – dse

Tag This Music Anderhill

Anderhill’s sixth release is 2019’s Tag This Music Anderhill. Take a listen.

By the time I composed this EP, it was clear that I had a definitive love for experimental electronic music production.

Tag is a little more spontaneous and playful than its predecessor, Fellow Travelers. The music on Tag probably has a bit more in common with Anderhill’s debut recording, The Beginning. Like that EP, the music is a bit more melodic and beat-driven while still having some hypnotic and minimalist qualities. – dse

Before the Climax

the endless ugly summer drags on
like a cheap dystopian screenplay,
too little smoke to be dramatic,
too much for comfort.

fire devours the Earth’s flesh
as the heat I once welcomed
in my youth
pushes me ever closer
to Canada, hell, or death.

an uncontrollable virus takes
the feeble, and the rebels without
cause, burying both theist
and atheist alike,
side by side for all to see.

we hide within our shells,
no communion,
communication,
or community,

only disembodied egos
on inanimate screens
seeking the fake light
of our own invention,
illuminating our ignorance
and greed.

the repetitious red sun sets
again, only to rise hotter
in the morning,
biblical in proportion
to anything I’ve ever witnessed
in my insignificant lifetime.

an awkward emptiness
swallows almost everything
we once held close, breaking
preconceived perceptions
that used to bring us hope.

we find ourselves gripping
onto something slippery,
near impossible to grasp,
while time waits for nothing
to complete its charted course
toward its infinite release.

and here we are,
waiting, worrying, wondering,
our measly lives so miserable
mere moments before the climax
leading to the inevitable,
unharnessed good.

Dystopian World

I don’t want to be a downer, but in my lifetime, the world has never felt more dystopian than it does today. There seems to be a daily sense of struggle and dread.

I live in the central part of Washington State. We had record-breaking heat this summer. We’re in our third month of unhealthy air due to the smoke from the wildfires in the western regions of the United States. Add the resurgence in numbers of people getting infected with COVD-19, political unrest, and a growing problem with homelessness, and my world is beginning to look like a dystopian movie.

I hope this will pass. I’m not certain it’s that simple. But let’s look at the bright side of things from the perspective of an artist.

As a creator, I find this sense of living in a dystopian world fascinating. It gives me new perspective and ideas for poetry and song. It requires thought and reflection to consider both my own and others’ struggles. Musically, the current climate lends itself to dark ambient sounds. Spending more time inside to avoid smoke and disease allows for more time to create.

So, you see, it’s not all bad. – dse