Randy saved up all his retirement money
So he could retire down in Mexico
He bought himself a little house on the beach
Right beside the Gulf
Then just days before he retired, it’s funny
A little orange man without a soul
Who really ought to be impeached
Changed the goddam name of the ocean
Welcome to the Gulf of America
You’re gonna fit right in
Welcome to the Gulf of America
You petty little American
We’ve got girls and drinks and burritos
We’ve got palm trees and everything you want
But once and American always an American
You’re in Mexico now
You thought that moving here
Would make your life better somehow?
Guess again you stupid gringo
Welcome to the Gulf of America
You’re so pedestrian
Welcome to the Gulf of America
You petty little American
Now you always wanted to be cool
But you’re just so… insolent
Just another blanco fool
Like your next ex-president
Welcome to the Gulf of America
You’re gonna fit right in
Welcome to the Gulf of America
You petty little American
Sorry, Randy, but it’s true
This world doesn’t like people like me and you
So welcome to the Gulf of America
Lyrics Copyright 2025 by Dan Steven Erickson
