Recently, I said that I am taking a creative hiatus. Generally speaking, I am. However, I have been writing some poetry. It started out as my “prayers and meditations” project but has become something a bit different.
As one who has spent much of his lifetime believing and worshipping the Christian god, I have discovered that prayer has never really changed the outcomes for my life. I’m not sure prayer really even works at all. Sure, it might work as a positive motivator, but I’m highly suspect that God is up at his desk in the clouds listening and responding to every prayer just as we might read and respond to every single email we get in our inbox.
The Christian religion claims that we are born into sin from the start, and that we must turn to God to overcome that nature. This makes little sense to me. That concept also relieves us from personal responsibility.
I might argue the opposite, that we are born perfect and that we have some ability to control our actions and reactions. Note that I said “some” ability. I say this because I have become less certain of freewill in the last few years. Much of our lives’ outcomes are created by other factors than our own choices.
All this said, these short poems I’m about to share, are by no means finished. They are part of what I might call a sketchpad of poetry. Doodles if you will. You can read more of my poetry here.
Help Me Up
i’ve cried out to God,
i’ve cried out to man,
i’ve looked for solutions.
still, here i lie
bruised and broken
in the sewers of the city
where are you?
where is my strength?
and so i cry out again.
help me up!
carry me to a better place.
break my hands if you must,
to keep me from my misery.
help me up!
i’m stuck down here
with no one to guide me.
i need your touch
and i need your love.
help me up!
Strength
i cannot do it alone, i
need the strength of numbers, i
need the strength of love. i
need believers in me.
there is a reason
for doctors and therapists
and lovers and friends.
it is not in some invisible god
in which we find strength.
it is not written in a book
but perhaps written in many.
strength is in those
who are willing to
surround us with their love
and in those we choose to love
in return.
The Burning
there’s a burning inside me
and it will not stop
until my heart stops beating.
this might sound defeatist
but it’s not.
it is truth.
people try to pray away the fire,
try to cover up delusions
with smiles and plastic stuff.
but you cannot remove something
that has been there from the beginning.
we are not born sinful beings
but rather we are born perfect
and the burning starts
from the moment we arrive.
it’s up to us
how we will let the fire consume us,
but consume us it will.
I Am to Blame
if anyone is at fault,
I am to blame
for these things that I choose.
I take responsibility.
I am to blame.
I and I alone.
I am no victim
or innocent bystander.
I may cry for help
but I am to blame
for the condition I am in.
And I am the only one
who can make a change.
Stay tuned for new works in music, writing, photography, and more. – dse
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