Creativity – Page 2 – Dan Steven Erickson

One Year on YouTube Seems Insignificant in Today’s America

I’ve had my YouTube Channel for one year. I started it on January 18, 2025. I have mixed feelings about the channel. Sometimes, it feels so insignificant to be creating art and music in today’s America.

I’ve always struggled with feelings of vanity.

I blogged about minimalism for about five years. I quit when I got close to making money from my work. Why? Because it felt wrong to sell people something that anyone can do for free. Want to live simple? Here, buy my gadget. It seemed hypocritical. It felt vain.

That’s about as close as I’ve gotten to monetizing anything on the Internet. Sure, I’ve sold a few books and some music on Bandcamp, but that might add up to a couple thousand dollars in sales over 15 years. The truth is, ever since giving up the minimalist topic, I’ve struggled in general with both topic and audience.

I lost 95% of my audience when I gave up minimalism as a niche. Then I floundered for a few years on what to do next. I finally decided to simply focus on my own music, poetry, and songwriting. And as you might expect, being an unknown artist in your 60s in today’s world is not profitable. And even if it was, that feels like selling out.

YouTube is no different than anything else.

Starting a YouTube Channel has been interesting, even fun at times. I didn’t put a lot into the equipment or production, but purposefully kept things simple and raw. Unfortunately, that’s another strike against me. People want flashy and produced.

After a year, it’s plain to see, that just like starting a blog, a podcast, or any kind of potential online business, I’m highly unlikely to ever gain an audience or turn a profit on the Internet. I don’t know the stats, but my guess would be that less than 1% of the people who try to create some kind of online business ever make any money. So, like my other online endeavors, it feels vain to even try.

Of course, from the outset, I said my YouTube was simply a place to document and preserve a lifetime of songwriting and that I had no delusions of making it a profitable channel. That remains true. But if I’m being 100% honest, there was still a small part of me that thought the experiment might get more than 100 subscribers in a year.

Maybe there’s more important work.

I’m not going to quit, but I am dialing things back. It takes time and effort, even with raw and unedited video, to keep a YouTube channel going. But I also can’t help but look around at the state of this world, and more specifically America, and wonder if there’s something more important I could be doing.

People tell me that art is important, that songs and poetry can lead revolutions and save lives. Meh. I’m not seeing it. When 20 million people are struggling just to be heard and no one seems to have the attention span to listen, what’s the point? And to do this stuff just for myself can become both isolating and lonely.

When I look around at what’s happening in our country; when I see the hate, the poverty, and the hopelessness, I have to wonder if there is something else one could do to promote positive change.

Now I’m retired, the options have increased.

I stopped working full time on December 1, 2025. I’ll likely go back to work part time later this year when I move back to Maine. I need to subsidize my income to pay for health insurance for a couple more years. But I will have more freedom to do other things.

Part of me just wants to go travel and explore a few places I’ve long been interested in. But another part of me wants to do something more significant, maybe get involved with some kind of activism at the grassroots level.

I’ve threatened for years to walk away from the Internet when I’m retired. That’s probably unpractical. And even though very few seem to notice what I’m doing, what I do is still serving a purpose, if only some kind of self-therapy.

I know I must sound like a broken record. I tend to continually question my own place in this world as a creator. I constantly see the insignificance of our struggle as artists and human beings. We all simply die and will likely be forgotten in the end.

Still, I’ll keep plugging along. I won’t stop writing or give up on YouTube yet. But I will keep my eyes and mind open for new directions and ways to serve others. – dse

2025 Most-Played YouTube Videos

I started a YouTube Channel in mid-January of this year. I don’t get a ton of views but I’ll post links to my most-watched videos here. The first three links are the most viewed. I’ll follow those with the top-ten most-played songs.

My goal was never to attempt to get views and create a popular channel, but rather simply to catalog songs and post some about songwriting and music.

The Top Three

The Top-Ten Songs

What’s Going to Happen in 2026?

I posted a total of 199 videos in 2025 and gained 93 subscribers. Again, getting subscribers was not the primary reason for starting the channel. Documenting my own songwriting journey was.

I officially retired from full-time work on December 1. Shortly after I stopped working in early November, I almost doubled my output on the channel. I could keep that up. But I’m not going to. Why?

Although I was tempted to try to start building the channel instead of simply using it for my own space, I’ve decided against that idea for now. In April, I’ll be moving back to Maine. I’ll be busy moving and doing some work on my condo up there. I want to do some traveling. I might go back to work part time. So, I’m not ready to commit to something more than what I’m currently doing on my channel.

That Could Change

I’ve always considered the idea of doing something more with the channel and/or starting a second channel. But I only want to do that if I’ve decided to seriously commit to the project(s).

That would mean that I’d get new and improved equipment, and that I’d create a space specifically as a YouTube studio. I’d study the art of YouTube production and become more deliberate in creating higher-quality work. I’d aim for better video and better audio. I’d learn how to edit. I’d have more scripted videos.

I’m not yet convinced I want to do all that. I need to wait and see what direction life takes after my move back to Maine. Also, a part of me likes the simple lo-fi authenticity of my channel as it is.

So, until mid-2026, I’ve decided to pare back a little and only post a few times per week rather than daily as I did through most of November and December.

Here’s to 2026! – dse

Reevaluating Everything: Goals for 2026

I already set my goals for 2026 a couple of months back. They are very simple and general. In fact, I’ve already met a few of them and it’s not even 2026 yet. Here’s a review:

10 things I hope to do before the end of next year.

Give my website a simple remodel.
Continue writing and recording songs and music.
Write poetry and consider short story.
Keep walking regularly and participate in other physical activities.
Monitor my health and see experts on my blood condition.
Read on a fairly regular basis.
Consider a second piece of real estate in Kansas or Missouri.
Retire from my current job and move back to Maine.
Create a YouTube Studio in a different location and focus on a few strategies to promote the channel.
Travel and work on becoming a better photographer.

So, #1 is done. #8 is part done. I’ll be taking a photography class starting in January, #10. Many of the other goals are things I simply do on an ongoing basis. See what I did there. I made it nearly impossible not to meet my goals.

There are a few things I want to reevaluate.

Let’s review #2, #7, #9, and add one big thing that I forgot to include.

#2. Continue writing and recording songs and music: Of course, I’m going to continue to do music. The question is at what level? Since I retired, I’ve sped up my output, both in writing and posting to my YouTube channel. I’ve even done some new Anderhill music. I’m not sure I’m going to continue to increase musical output going into 2026. Something is telling me to slow down a bit on the musical output and to focus on quality over quantity.

#7. Consider a second piece of real estate in Kansas or Missouri: This is simply a thought, an option. I often consider real estate in that region for the low cost, and to be close to my first daughter who was stillborn and buried in Joplin, Missouri. But I think in 2026 it will be more important to focus on my property in Maine.

#9. Create a YouTube Studio in a different location and focus on a few strategies to promote the channel: As with #2, I’m not going to stop. However, I’m also not going to put the YouTube channel at a high level of importance. In fact, I’ll be making an announcement on the channel before the end of the year that I will be slowing down output. And chances are fair that I’ll keep the channel simmering on the back burner until after I’ve resettled in Maine. Only then will I decide about the new studio space and the direction of content and promotion.

One important thing I left off the initial list.

I have a small condo in Maine. It’s livable but is also in need of some updates. So, upon my return, I need to start on the process of getting some things done. Here’s a list of things I’d like to consider completing over the next couple of years:

Get electrical and plumbing inspected and repaired.
Get the windows and exterior doors replaced.
Do a partial kitchen remodel and get new appliances.
Get a new shower/tub.
Repaint the entire interior.
Possibly install new flooring downstairs and resurface the stairs.
Replace heating units with new and more efficient models.
Turn the basement area into a YouTube studio instead of a storage area.
Minimize furnishings and decor.

And a few of other things…

Other things I left off my original list because they are not certainties:

Consider getting another dog.
Working part-time either at Cabelas and/or adjunct teaching.
Traveling to Canada, Scotland, and/or Iceland.

So, there you have it. A slightly more specific list of goals for 2026. Again, I do not like to set goals the way I used to. I used to aim too high and set unrealistic goals. I might have met 40% of them. Life is uncertain and keeping your goals loose is a much better option, especially things that are outside of your ability to control.

Don’t set goals you can’t control.

For instance, a few weeks ago, I noticed that my YouTube channel had about 83 subscribers and 180 posts. So, I posted a goal on Facebook. I said by the end of the year I’d have 200 posts and 100 subscribers.

At the rate I’ve been making videos, the 200 posts by the end of the year was very reachable. Still is. But I can’t control how many people subscribe to the channel. It’s gone from 83 to 92 but I don’t expect to reach 100 by December 31. I was setting myself up for failure by making my goals dependent on the actions of others.

This, in part, led me to reevaluate the importance of my YouTube channel. I’ve blogged and I have been caught up in the endless cycle of trying to grow an online presence in the past. I’m not going to let that cycle repeat when I retire. I cannot control the actions of others. I cannot force people to come to my channel. This is not The Field of Dreams.

I started the YouTube channel as a place to catalog songs and discuss things related to songwriting and music, and occasionally, life. I started the channel with no illusions of becoming popular or monetizing. And for now, that’s just how it will remain. And I think I’ll end the year with 199 posts just because I can. – dse

Why I Gave up the Dream 100%

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of ever “making it” as a songwriter, musician, or writer. What does that even mean? To make it? Then I realized that I already gave up the dream. 100%.

I’ve recently retired and that matters here.

First, I am officially retired from full-time academic work as of December 1, 2025. I’ll have more time on my hands. Time that might allow me to work harder in pursuing my artistic endeavors. And I will.

I’m going to keep my YouTube Channel going. I’m going to keep writing songs. I’ll keep composing ambient music and writing poetry. Maybe, I’ll even write another book. But never again for the reason of trying to “make it.” And only out of the love for the process, and the art.

I work to create a healthy balance in life. I’ll likely continue to do some part-time work. I’m going to do some upgrades to my condo. I’ll travel some. I’ll work more on photography. I might even learn more about how to create a successful YouTube Channel instead of just posting random videos of me singing songs. Who knows? But I’ll decide.

I won’t do any of that in hopes of achieving financial or social success in the industry. Here’s why.

My work is 100% driven by artistic value, not money.

In the past few years I’ve noticed something. I understand that people who have been successful in the music or entertainment industry have worked hard to get there. I also understand that they are busy people. Even those who have not made it, but focus on that commercially-based track to success seem to have similar attitudes toward artists as myself.

They are dismissive.

That’s right. I’ve discovered an underlying unfriendliness among many people I’ve met who have been successful in the music business, or are trying their hardest to make it. I’m not sure exactly why, but I’m going to take a stab at what I think might be going on.

It’s a game of egos, and some people are threatened by purity.

I know some people may disagree, but from clear back in my early blogging days, I noted something. Most bloggers who had already had some success seemed to snub their noses at those who were trying to reach similar levels. Unless you were kissing up to them.

Why? Because their success depended on those who had not “made it.” That’s right. They want you to buy into what they are selling you, their courses, their programs, their coaching. They want you to believe that they are somehow better than you. Even if your raw talent is superior to theirs, they could never admit that. The ego will not allow for it.

I’ve found the same thing within the songwriting and music world. You’re a fan, not a contemporary. I’ve even had the sense that some of the successful artists I have met and worked with in the past few years are intimidated by those of us who have spent our lives mastering the art of something without “selling out.”

When you really think about it, if one has spent 50 years mastering a specific art while the other has had to worry about business, performances, recording, touring, and keeping their base happy, which one has truly had the unadulterated time and space to be more faithful to the art?

Alternative roads are shunned.

I also see that those of us who refuse to take the expected route in the music industry are ignored. The expected route is to spend lots of money to create a product to sell.

In Nashville, you are expected to make a high-quality produced demo. But it wasn’t always that way. Country music publishers used to request nothing more than instrument/vocal demos. Now there is a whole studio industry catering to wannabe songwriters to spend $500 per song.

You’re also expected to play the open mic and songwriting round circuit, and to co-write in an effort to prove yourself to the industry community. The venues where these events happen are selling you hope and dreams and food and beer.

In other words, the songwriters have become the product. The majority of the tens of thousands of songwriters in Nashville will spend thousands of dollars to never make it. I played that game as a younger man. I see through it now.

I think about Woody Guthrie.

Woody Guthrie refused to sell out. Sure, he made a meager living as a songwriter, but he never wrote anything he did not believe in as a means of pursuing commercial success.

Woody stood up for the things he believed in. He simply created whatever he chose. He was never impacted by the lure of success. In fact, he walked off the set when he was expected to play the role of a hayseed and sing commercial songs for a TV show.

Yet, in the end, Guthrie, never really a success in his own right, became a legend, and one of the biggest musical influences for future generations of songwriters.

I’m done dreaming, but I’ll keep on doing.

So that’s it. I’m done dreaming. 100%. But I’ll keep on doing. Or not. I won’t give into pressure to conform. I’m too old for that shit. I’ll write and post what I want when I want. And if I decide to stop doing altogether, that’s my prerogative.

For years I thought I was missing out because I never found much success in my creative endeavors. Now I understand something much more important. I’m free. – dse

Rooms

I wasn’t planning on releasing a third Anderhill project this year, but it just sort of happened. This 7-track album is called Rooms.

<a href="https://anderhill.bandcamp.com/album/rooms">Rooms by Anderhill</a>

At first, I was going to name each track based on what the piece made me feel, or what it reminded me of. For instance, I hear the ocean in the first track. But as I was listening back to another track, I felt like I was in a big room. That gave me the idea of simply calling the album, Rooms.

All of these compositions are created fully within the DAW except for “Rm. 666,” which is subtitled “I Broke Your Heart” based on the back-masked sampled voices.

I feel new energy for electronic experimental music rising. Next year, I’ll work on more sampling and incorporating real sounds and instruments into the work. Enjoy. – dse

My Internal Battle between Art and Pop

I’ve been a creator for my entire life. I started writing songs and plays when I was eight. The first play I wrote was called, Commercial Christmas. I’m not sure how I understood at such a young age that Christmas was an over-commercialized sales event, but I did. And there started my internal battle between art and pop.

My early songs had nothing to do with wanting to write hits. I just thought it was fun, and I used words to express my feelings. My first song, Screaming Mad, was written when I was mad at my mom.

Screaming mad
Close my eyes
Feel like crying
Screaming mad
Close my eyes
Feel like dying
Screaming mad

Throughout my teens, as the child victim of a cult, I wrote songs in my head as means of escape while working as a slave. By then, however, I was dreaming about my songs becoming top-40 hits. I was becoming educated in pop.

We are trained to follow the trends.

The entertainment and media business might just be the biggest enemy of art. Sure, if it weren’t for media, many musicians, writers, and artists would never be known. But when anything becomes mass produced and promoted through a system that reaches the majority of people within a culture, it shapes the art. The art becomes a part of popular culture.

Pop.

When Elvis and The Beatles came on the scene, what did every young American boy want? To become like them. This created imitation. Pop wins. Art takes a back seat.

The majority of my work is simply a mirror.

As a young songwriter in my 20s, my goal was to be discovered. Therefore, I wrote songs I thought would be “hits.” I was basically a mirror of everything I listened to on the radio, a reflection of the musical culture of my time.

As I continued to write, I also continued to discover new music, and old. I went deeper into the past and discovered blues and traditional country. Again, I became a reflection of what I heard. I might have been a mirror to the past, but I was still imitating. And even though I was writing deep country and blues, I still sensed more pop than art.

Even so, through the years, I was becoming an artist in my own right. I didn’t always write with the intent of getting hits, and I didn’t always imitate my idols. I slowly found my own voice in the arena of song. Still, I felt the majority of my catalog was pop. I suppose this has to do with formula. Most songs have verses, choruses, bridges, expected patterns. That within itself feels more like pop than art.

Weird songs, ambient music, and abstract photography.

Sometime in my mid-40s I started to become disillusioned with my songwriting journey. I was tired of writing songs that sounded like all the other songs ever written. Around that time, I also discovered Bill Callahan. His songs were different. They did not follow the formula. So, I wrote a batch of songs that also did not follow traditional songwriting formula. But I was still being a mirror, an imitator.

It wasn’t until I started playing with electronic music programming that I really broke away from formula. I experimented. I became a composer of chaos and drone. Nothing had to make sense. The digital audio workshop was my canvas. Sometimes, I’d recite odd poems over the top of a composition. Or I’d go sample strange sounds and program them into the mix.

I was free from formula. However, in time, I found that even weird music has its own formula, it’s just less obvious. Still, I feel that my work as an electronic music composer has been my strongest art.

Around the same time, in my early-to-mid 50s, I started taking more pictures. Although, I primarily like scenic photography, I also found myself drawn toward taking photos in ways that were very abstract.

Art.

The dilemma.

After about seven years of playing with ambient, drone, and experimental compositions, I returned to more traditional songwriting. It was exciting to feel that old rush of energy when words and music come together. Just as I did when I was younger, I knew many of the songs I was writing had commercial potential. Yep. I was back to pop.

Thus, the dilemma. If you follow media, culture, trends, you regurgitate it. You are part of an echo chamber. You are pop. From an artist’s perspective, that can feel cheap and phony, even if what you’re doing is good. It feels like a product, even if you can’t find buyers.

On the other hand, if you dedicate yourself to things more artistic, many people will not understand your work. They might say, “That looks like a blob. I don’t get it. Can’t you paint a picture?” Furthermore, art almost requires that you turn off the media, walk away from popular culture, ignore trends, isolate yourself, and get lost in your work.

In the end, all of it, pop and art, only has the value we give it as a society, as a culture. Art, however, has one up on pop. Art holds more value to the creator. As a creator, I value my work in which I took more risks, where I was brave enough to allow imagination to override tradition and popular expectation. Although I have had little monetary reward, choosing art over pop creates a greater sense of discovery in the process. It feels more true.

But like most of us, I want to fit in. I want to be understood. I want people to like what I do. And so the internal battle between art and pop continues forevermore. Although, I am giving less shits these days. – dse